Idealism, Escapism, and Slice-of-Life - An episodic deep-dive into Gakkou Gurashi!

Originally written from Jul. 25, 2020 - Sep. 14, 2020.

SPOILERS FOR THE WHOLE SHOW. THE SPOILERS ACTUALLY MATTER FOR THIS SHOW. As a spoiler-free warning, if you dive into this show and you aren't well-versed in slice-of-life moe shows, you will not like this as much as you could, at least not in the way I did. I highly advise you to watch other slice-of-life shows and get familiarized with the patterns in the genre, then watch this show spoiler-free. If you just want to read this as soon as possible though, then just read the part marked (2) two paragraphs down (and STEER CLEAR of the paragraphs above & below it!).

Themes (TL;DR summary)

(1) Both the positives and negatives of escapism, idealism & optimism, exhibited through Yuki and Miki's behaviors respectively. UrbanTheMyth dives into this in this video but I think I have a pretty different interpretation.
- Yuki uses her escapism to run away from reality, but is able to replace it with happiness in her blissful ignorance, allowing her to gather up the drive and motivation to take risks in life.
- Miki also ran away from reality, but didn't replace it with *anything*, living isolated in an emotionless, empty state.

(2) Meta-commentary on the kirara-kei genre (aka slice-of-life, but way more of an emphasis on focusing on normal characters in a normal world in a monogender, female space, popularized by the magazine Manga Time Kirara—Zeria made a great post about it when talking about Comic Girls), in how there's a sense of "stability" in having an everyday routine, working to stabilize us in what would otherwise be a chaotic, hellish life. The mangaka dives into it in an author's note (BEWARE SPOILERS). To convey this, it heavily uses the institution—commonly demonstrated in anime through regular, high-school life because of the nostalgic feeling it invokes in Japan. Pause and Select specifically dives into the institution in their video on the show (also filled with spoilers).

(3) The dichotomy between the two disparate genres of the show—horror and kirara-kei—and how it uses the dissonance from these polar opposite genres to strengthen each other instead of work against one another.

(4) Friendship and companionship are PARAMOUNT in staying sane in this world

I'll be referencing back to these main points throughout this post, so look out for the (#) notes throughout

"Kirara-kei or Horror? Which is it???"

(3) Kirara-kei and horror are polar opposite genres—one depicting the never-changing, ever-nurturing security of everyday life, and the other constantly depicting a sense of psychological unease, dissonance, and outright fear—yet this show was able to twist both these genres in ways that would actually enhance each other's themes, rather than have these disparate elements working against each other. The themes of this show are the same as you'd see in any other kirara-kei show, but by setting this show in a horrific zombie apocalypse and seeing the characters' struggles with living in this setting, the fact that they keep trying to survive instead of just killing themselves from the despair is a testament to how powerful their friendships are. None of these themes would come across nearly as strong as they do if this show was just like any other kirara-kei. By showing their struggles living in this horrifying setting, it makes us as the viewers value the happy scenes that much more. And in turn, it's those happy scenes that make the horror scenes that much more horrifying. At any moment, a zombie could break into the clubroom and destroy their lives. Most of the time it doesn't happen—in fact most of the show really is just a normal CGDCT—so when it actually does barge its way into a happy scene, it makes what happens in that scene that much more heart-wrenching.

Episode 1: Beginning

An introductory episode, though even this early on we see a nice foreboding conversation with Yuki, where we learn that she's worrying about graduation. It doesn't seem like much at first, but on the rewatch when you know how the show ends, it becomes a great sign of where she currently stands in her character development. (3) By starting the show out as a regular kirara-kei and not just diving straight into the horror part, it establishes a connection to other kirara-kei shows, and thus, provides a lens to interpret it through. While its themes in its horror and drama aspects are great and easily stand up on their own, it's important to know that this IS a kirara-kei at its heart (which is why it's so important to be familiar with the genre before watching imo), and that it's important to interpret it as such.

Episode 2: Memories

This episode feels even more meaningful on the rewatch once we understand how important the characters' coping mechanisms are to them. Kurumi's situation gets its own screentime here as we learn more about her backstory. (1) Her memories as a regular adolescent would usually be something to look back at fondly, but now that that life was torn away from her, she now responds by lashing out at those memories, going on anger-ridden tirades of murdering zombies. This violent response is sharply contrasted against Yuki's response: instead of forcefully running away from those memories, she instead desperately clings onto them, and they serve as the only thing keeping her sane. When they encountered that zombie at the end of the episode, the only thing that kept her alive was Megumi calming her down. Before knowing about the twist, it was just a nice showing of her and Yuki's relationship—but on the rewatch, it shifted to a much more personal, internal character moment as we fully understand how important this coping mechanism is to her mental health; though it's unhealthy in a lot of ways, if she approaches it the same way Kurumi does, her will to live would not be as strong as it is now, and we see how Kurumi really respects and admires Yuki for that.

Through the different ways Kurumi and Yuki deal with their memories, we see to the full extent how Kurumi sympathizes with Yuki, and this tells us a lot more about why they're letting her indulge in her delusions so much—by doing so, not only does it allow her to hold onto those memories for a little longer (a luxury that they don't have), but (4) it also allows Yuki to act as their own coping mechanisms as well. If they didn't have Yuki's boundless energy and optimism, they would fall into the same coping mechanisms as Kurumi—deep down, they know how important it is for their hope to hold onto those rose-tinted memories. Even this early on, the show establishes an incredibly important undertone that comes to the forefront later on, that (1) escaping into these memories still plays a positive role in their lives even after all the tragedy they've suffered through, and that this show isn't all the doom & gloom that it seems to be.

Episode 3: That Time

This episode.... ;-; Just seeing the way the controlled, orderly society slowly fell apart as time went on.. Megumi's role in the girls' lives becomes clearer here, as we see how much of a comforting figure she was to them, both before and after the apocalypse. That just makes it even harder to accept when the reality of the situation hits them by the end.. their acceptance of her death is later compared to the same graduation we see in other CGDCT shows, and through that it actually portrays the same message that K-On did, except in the darkest, most morbid way possible: to make the most of the time you have with your loved ones while you still can. (2) The girls here try their best to continue escaping from reality, to continue living their idealized, rose-tinted youth as long as they can, long after that phase of their lives ended. The feeling is very similar to other kirara-kei shows in how atemporal it feels, specifically in K-On where the characters never think of the inevitable end before it's too late. The show goes to great lengths to show how dangerous and restraining this mindset could be, while also saying that it's the only thing keeping them sane—and I think that really speaks to the broader view on high school life that people have in Japan's media. The mangaka dives into this topic in one of the manga volumes:

This "stability" that he mentioned is the driving force of the characters. Without this sense of stability to hold onto, their lives would be nothing but a chaotic, aimless hellscape. But as he says, this mindset also traps them as it leads them to regress further back into their shells, never trying anything new in their lives. It is within these kinds of dichotomies where this series' true substance lies, and the sheer dissonance that results from them is the biggest reason why it feels as unsettling and tragic as it does. The lows can't feel as low as they do if we don't have the highs of the series to contrast against them.

Episode 4: Field Trip

"It was like the ending of a movie I once saw... Two people driving off into the distant horizon... abandoning their pasts and setting off towards the sunset. It was just like that."

(1) This was said as the girls were leaving the school on their field trip. The true meaning of this scene really jumps out at you once you know the conclusion of the show, and that it thematically connects the two plots of Miki and Kei/the girls' field trip together. Seeing how Miki wanted to just stay hulled up in that room forever because it was safer and her conflict with Kei.. Earlier in the episode, it set up the fact that Kei listlessly listened to the radio, in the futile hope that she could pick up something. Seeing her in that state with the radio static harshly blasting into her ears was such great imagery, and that imagery becomes even stronger when she leaves that CD player with Miki as she leaves—she's abandoning that stagnant, stable life of waiting for help that may not even come, in the hopes of seizing opportunity on her own, leaving Miki to listen to that radio in vain, living off stale corn-based cereal and water. Tying back to the last episode themes, Miki is compelled to stay isolated in that room because of the stability it lends. Yes, it's safer than going out, but is it really living to just sit in your room for your entire life? (seeing the connection to otaku escapism here?? holy FUCK i feel called out)

Episode 5: Encounter

This episode is all about breaking down the walls these characters put up. Miki finally leaves the room, and Yuki is forced to confront reality in order to save her. Keep in mind too that this is still a FLASHBACK episode, and even in the first episode, (2) we saw the subtle character progression from this event through the ways Yuki was preparing for this confrontation by recontextualizing it in her head with the whole 'graduation' narrative. And when you think about how so many of us use these shows as escapism and how so many other CGDCT shows end with a graduation ceremony, forcing us to confront reality again, it becomes that much more apparent that this show is making a very deliberate meta-commentary on the genre.

Episode 6: Welcome

The infamous reveal episode... I love that this was as much of a character episode for Miki as it was for Yuki. It's one thing to learn things about a single character in a scene, but it's SO much more interesting to me when shows are able to tell us things about multiple characters (or even multiple relationships) all at once and how they affect one another.

Kurumi: "I don't know how Yuki does it, but she always comes up with these crazy ideas when we seem to need them most. That's where the mall trip came from. She just came up with the idea of going on a field trip out of nowhere. I thought it was nuts too. I didn't know how to react. But I'm glad we went. Thinking things out is important, but if you do nothing but think, you'll never move forward. Of course, there are times when exercise [aka Yuki's mindset, Kurumi seemed to be using the sports festival as a metaphor here] isn't enough to prepare us either, but when our heads and fists aren't making us any progress, Yuki has the answer we were looking for."

(1) The last two episodes told us a lot about how Yuki and Miki are similar, but this episode was really important in how it set them apart. They both ran away from reality, but they did so in very different ways. Yuki runs away from reality, but she replaces the despair she would get from that reality with genuine happiness, which motivates her to live her life and take risks. As Yuki learns to face reality more, she can use these old memories, not just as a grim reminder of her new life, but as an important motivator to actively try to make life as good as it was back then. Miki also runs away from reality, but she doesn't replace the despair with anything. She just sits there with nothing, completely empty inside. This mindset breeds stagnation, and the unchanging, almost atemporal life that we see depicted in many other kirara-kei shows.

Yuki gathers drive and motivation from her escapism; Miki's escapism only drives her further back into her own shell, which eventually tore her and Kei apart as Kei went out to search for a way to live her life. The fact that she met someone like Yuki was a really great way for her to get a second chance at life—when she asked Yuuri to join the School Living Club, she was welcomed with a handshake, and it was visually compared with the handholding she and Kei used to do before she headed off ;-;

Because she left that room, because she gathered enough drive in the same way Kei and Yuki did, she was able to seize her opportunity at a more colorful & fulfilling life with actual human contact. Behind all the despair and psychological torture these characters undergo, this show has such a motivational and inspirational tinge to it, and that's really only something that could be achieved because it's also posing as a kirara-kei show.

Episode 7: A Letter

A more introspective episode this time, but it works really well to demonstrate the message of hope that's keeping the characters motivated. Continuing from the last episode, Yuki is further internalizing the fact that Megumi is dead, and for the first time in the show she's confronting that fact head-on. The other girls all agree that Yuki can't continue this for much longer, and they know that Megumi would not have wanted this for Yuki either. Deep down, Yuki knows this too, and we see in the next scene that her image of Megumi is shifting from a blatant delusion shielding her from reality, to a much healthier image:

Yuki: "I'm so afraid sometimes… A bunch of my memories seem fuzzy…"

Megumi (in the form of Yuki's delusion): "Everyone has memories that seem vague. That's why talking to others and keeping a journal are important. They help you keep your memories tangible. I've always thought so, at least. Even if the person they're about leaves you…"

Yuki: "I'll do my best… I'll do my best, Megu-nee…"

This Megumi doesn't shield her from reality, but instead gives her the strength to face it, and this opens up a much more positive path for Yuki. Megumi really represents the happy, everyday life they had before, and she is a coping mechanism for Yuki to fall back to, but that isn't an inherently bad thing. When someone dies, it's not healthy to just forget about them and move on when our memories of them empower us so much, and by making Megumi a symbol of their previous life, which in-turn is a symbol for the kirara-kei genre, it connects it back to the show's meta-commentary on how these shows can both be a blessing and a curse, depending on the roles they have in our lives (2).

As they approach graduation, their rose-tinted memories will fade more and more, and as more time passes, the more at risk they are of forgetting them entirely. And that is what finally connects it to the (4) theme, which we've only seen bits and pieces of before (which is no coincidence, considering everyone has been willingly lying to Yuki all throughout the show). The only way for the characters to keep their memories of Megumi alive is if they talk about them with each other, and they can't do that if they continue to cling to their escapism and coping mechanisms. Yuki hasn't made these memories alone, and she's not the only one who remembers them. A whole slew of people will inevitably disappear from our lives, but that just makes treasuring the friends we do have all the more important. Accepting that that part of their lives is over, and instead remembering & talking about their time together will keep those memories alive for much longer, giving them the strength to continue living.

Episode 8: Future

Another more introspective episode, they find an instruction manual explaining why the school was built to be so self-sustaining—the school was built as a shelter, as if they knew that the apocalypse would happen from the very beginning. For the whole show the characters were clinging onto society because of the stability it lent them (2), but now they know for sure that their previous society has lost all hope and abandoned them. For the whole time, they were just waiting there, hoping that some government would come and save them just like Miki did, but now that possibility seems all the more unlikely. What this means for our characters and their final decision is further developed in the next episode.

Episode 9: Holiday

This episode serves as a break episode, the calm before the storm of the season climax. From here on out it's gonna be pretty much nothing but thriller, so it's important for the show to keep itself grounded as a kirara-kei show before this period of change for the characters. This episode also focuses on the two main visual metaphors for the series: Taroumaru and the CD player. Taroumaru is sharply contrasted against the CD player, and both these symbols become a lot more important to the narrative following the revelation we learned last episode. The CD player symbolizes their innate need to sit idly and hope for someone to save them and provide a life for them, but now that they know that help is extremely unlikely, they now know that they can't keep relying on others anymore.

Taroumaru, on the other hand, was a bit harder to pin down, in the show he's just portrayed as a normal animal. And just like any animal, he acts instinctively and runs around the school, often breaking out of his leash. From the very beginning, Taroumaru served as one of the forces that made our characters venture out of the clubroom (think back to the many times we see them chasing him as they run throughout the school), and in many ways he serves as a mentor for Miki in particular, when it was hearing his voice that made her step out of the mall's storage room and be saved.

If the CD player symbolizes the allure of the isolated—but stable—monotony of an everyday routine, Taroumaru symbolizes the allure of a riskier, more dangerous, but ultimately more fulfilling life outside of that isolation. And now, at the end of this episode, he breaks out of his leash for the final time as he confronts what has been serving as the "leash" for the girls for the entire series: the zombie of Megumi. After all those times that Taroumaru has pushed the characters out of their shells, he's doing it for the last time as he forces the girls to directly confront Megumi, the figure that's been serving as their sense of comfort for the entire series, that sense of hope that some force would come and save them. However, with the revelation we learned last episode, it really gives the characters a newfound motivation to actually venture outside the school and make a life for themselves, and the only way they can do that is if they accept once and for all that Megumi and their old high-school life are gone for good, and this serves as a perfect set-up for the girls' eventual graduation.

Episode 10: Rainy Day

Kurumi gets bitten as she discovers the zombified corpse of Megumi as Yuuri contemplates her promise with her to kill her if she ever gets infected. Miki tries to get medicine in the emergency shelter, and Yuki's delusions are slowly being torn apart. Kurumi's infection reveals for the first time what happens inside the infected mind, telling us a lot about what the zombies themselves symbolize, which is incredibly important to know as justification for this climax's resolution. First, she gets hallucinations of her old memories, images of her loved ones when they were still alive, until reality abruptly pushes its way in as they transform into their zombified form. All throughout, we can hear from Megumi dejectedly begging her to open the door, insisting that she loves them. (2) Seeing all these delusions inside her head explains a lot about why the zombies are so gravitated towards school and their previous everyday lives. In this show, becoming a zombie isn't the complete abandonment of that everyday routine, but rather the most corrupted version of that routine. It's the difference between how there's a positive and negative way to interpret everything, as we see countless times across this show, particularly with escapism. Rather than letting those memories serve as an empowering motivator in the present like in Yuki's case, becoming a zombie is the complete resignation to it, where those memories instead serve as a grim reminder of reality, that your life will never be as good as it was back then.

Episode 11: Scar

It's in this episode where Yuki finally confronts the fact that Megumi is gone and says her final goodbye to her. Every character is forced to confront reality in such a brutal way.. Miki serves as the best supporting character in this episode, because it was her that finally put Megumi to rest for good, finally freeing the girls from their emotional baggage once and for all.

(I HIGHLY recommend watching the episodes and skip to the timecode for the rest of the quotes in this post. It does NOT work NEARLY as well in text)

~13:20

Miki: "You're Sakura Megumi-sensei, right? Pleased to meet you. I'm Naoki Miki, the newest member of the School Living Club. I've heard a lot about what you're like from the others. They told me how kind you are and how you've always been there for them. You didn't want to hurt them, right? That's why you've been down here… all this time. But… they're doing fine now. Yuuri-senpai is like a big sister to all of us, and she's always thinking one step ahead. Yuki-senpai is so cheerful that it rubs off on everyone. And Kurumi-senpai's always there when we need her to be. And if it hadn't been for you, I wouldn't be here, either. The four of us take care of one another, and survive here at school as best we can! So, please… Rest in peace."

Through this speech, it proves that Miki is not just heartlessly murdering Megumi, because she knows how important she is to all of them. But she also knows that they can't keep living on like this, hopelessly trying to keep her alive. She knows that there is a way to HEALTHILY approach their memories of her, and that she wholeheartedly trusts them to do so. That alone says so much, not only about her own character, but the entire group's relationship as a whole, and I CRIED MY FUCKING EYES OUT.
We learn so much about Yuuri and Kurumi as the joint-leaders and by-far the most mature ones of the group. They were both forced to confront this reality from the very beginning, serving as the glue that keeps the group in one piece, and we see in this episode how much that burden has been weighing on them. When you look at the sheer agony they were going through in this episode, you completely understand why Yuki was so drawn to her coping mechanism, just to avoid that pain. It makes their relationship with Yuki, Miki & each other all the more important to cherish—especially with Yuki as she learns to confront reality—so that they don't have to carry that burden alone...
And Yuki finally understands what she has to do as she boldly steps out of the clubroom to help her friends. Guided by her image of Megumi for the final time, it's in this episode where she proves that she's probably one of the most mentally strong & enduring characters of the whole show, despite what she looks like, precisely because of how she uses coping mechanisms to help her in life.

~19:15

[Yuki looks on in the dingy, desolate hallway as a flashback of them setting up the barricades appears in her mind. Yuki is severely more mentally scarred here than she was at the beginning of the show.]

Yuki: "I'm clumsy, and I'm not that strong. I'm just slowing you all down, aren't I? I'm just a burden, right?"

Megumi: "No, of course not. There are all sorts of good things about you that nobody else could replace. You have a lovely smile. It's what keeps us all going. I always feel better when you're around. And the same goes for the others. So promise me, no matter what happens, you'll keep smiling for us."

It's here where she confirms that the way she was using these memories to escape from reality wasn't an inherently bad thing, because these kinds of memories are undeniably positive experiences to be cherished. But no matter how good those memories are, the fact is, that she is in this dark, torn-down hallway, and that her friends are suffering. And the only way she can help them is if she pushes those memories aside for a while and faces that fact, or else she'll just lose even more people in her life.

~21:00

[Yuki is at the door where Megumi died, where she finally says her final goodbyes]

Yuki: "I'm really scared. But up until now, I've closed my eyes to the scary things around me and relied on everyone else to take care of the hard stuff. I think I need to open them, or I'll lose everything that's important to me. And that scares me a lot more."

Megumi: "Yuki-chan, keep that promise you made to me forever. Never forget it. No matter what happens."

Yuki: "Okay. I'll never forget, Megu-nee."

[She hears Megumi step away for the last time, and Yuki desperately swings the door open. Her image of Megumi is nowhere to be seen, as she stands on the dried-up pool of her blood and cries.]

Yuki: "Bye-bye, Megu-nee."

Episode 12: Graduation

~02:35

[Yuki makes it to the broadcasting room, and is now thinking about what to say.]

"They remember. Even if they've lost their hearts, deep down they can still remember. That's why they're coming back here... Isn't that right, Megu-nee?"

[Yuki pushes the button and starts her speech]

"School is closed for today. To those of you who are still here, it's time to head back home... Do you like school? I love it here." [Skipping a lot here, it's all great and filled with passion, but it's just too long to quote...] "The fun things, sad things, all of it is here for us. And that's why..."

[The scene lights up as the clouds outside part, and Yuki has flashbacks to her having fun with her classmates]

"That's why I love this school."

"And you all love it here too, don't you? You love it so much that you couldn't forget, and that's why you came back. But all good things eventually come to an end, no matter how great. Nothing can last forever, and that makes me sad, but... I think it's better that way. So now it's time for school to end. Maybe we'll all meet here again soon, but school is over for today... For everyone who was here until the end... Hello... Thank you... Goodbye... See you tomorrow..."

On its own, this isn't that impressive and is kind of anti-climactic, but when you understand it in tandem with everything we've learned about how these characters deal with their old memories, and how by the end they had to finally say goodbye to them, it becomes so much more gratifying. None of this would have felt nearly as powerful as it did if I hadn't seen shows like K-On beforehand, as I wouldn't have understood how important graduation is to these kinds of shows. Kirara-kei's purpose is to present us with a never-changing, everyday routine of these characters, and yet so many of them end with graduation, one of the most iconic symbols of the fleeting, yet inevitable change of adolescence. It would be silly for a show like Gakkou Gurashi not to end on a graduation considering everything it's been building up as a kirara-kei and coming-of-age show.

The episode also wraps up Taroumaru's role in the show as he finally passes. (1) He was always a sign of their innocence, and even though he forced them to venture out of their comfort zones, he still acted as a symbol of their escapism, just like Megumi. But now that they're graduating and becoming more self-reliant, they no longer require a force like Taroumaru to push them to take risks anymore. But for them to have gotten to this point, they owe all of it to their loved ones like Taroumaru. They know that, now that he's gone, the spirit that he had endowed to them is all the more important to cherish and keep close.

These ones are especially important to watch these scenes, it just feels so much weaker in text without the voice acting and amazing visual direction

~08:06

[Taroumaru is on his last legs as the girls desperately try to feed him]

"Welcome back, Taroumaru. Yuki-senpai told me you helped her when she was in trouble. You do so much for us. You're the reason they came back for me in the mall, aren't you? I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you. Everything is okay now. We can be together."

[Taroumaru looks up at Miki and gives his last smile, and he passed so suddenly that none of them could say goodbye 😭😭]

~10:13

[A little later, they bury his body next to Megumi's grave. Yuki offers to bury her iconic hat along with him, another strong symbol of Yuki's own innocence.]

Yuki: "Mii-kun, are you okay?"

Miki: "I'm fine. I'm just thinking of how Taroumaru saved me. It would be wrong to see him off without a smile."

[And this next line is the REAL fucking kicker and true sign of Yuki's character growth.]

Yuki: "I don't think so. If you bottle in everything that makes you sad, you won't leave room for what's important to you."

[Brief flashback to Megumi's last words]

Megumi: "I'm... glad I was your teacher."

Yuki: "I did, and I'd forgotten Megu-nee's last words because of it. So don't make that same mistake and hide your emotions. There's no need to wear a brave face."

[Miki, along with the rest of them are surprised & delighted at how mature Yuki has grown]

Yuki: "You don't want to forget Taroumaru's last words too."

Miki: "Words? Taroumaru can't..."

Yuki: "Of course he can! He looked up to you and said, "Thank you."

[Miki tries to smile, but she can't hold it anymore and embraces Yuki for comfort 😭😭😭]

Miki: "I... I didn't get to say it back to him!"
[Everyone else goes in for a group hug, and MY GOD, IT'S THESE KINDS OF HUGS THAT GET ME CRYING MY EYES OFF EVERY FUCKING TIME.]

(4) For the ENTIRE show, it's been building up this uneasy dissonance when you know that they've been letting Yuki have her delusions, and have essentially been lying to her. It was so tragic, and the longer it went on the harder it was to watch. For the show to finally pull all that back and let the characters be completely honest with one another was one of the most gratifying experiences I've ever had in anime.

Next two quotes start at about ~17:25

[Miki starts her graduation speech]

Miki: "Time certainly flies, doesn't it? These faces that I feel as though I've only just met are ready to leave here. There's an overwhelming future out there just waiting for us all. When I picture myself bursting through the tall walls built by society into the real world, it makes me feel both proud and uneasy. I have the seniors here to thank for inviting me into the School Living Club. It's there that I learned to believe in myself and to work hard, to be courageous and beat all odds, and how to shield my heart from sorrow, even in the most difficult of times. So, I have no fears moving forward. Thank you. Thank you so much."

And just think... this level of fulfillment in Miki's life would all never have happened if she hadn't taken that risk and stepped out of that storage room... (1) This is what optimism can give you, this is why the idealism we see in so many of these kirara-kei shows are so important and why realism and edginess in media is so, so, SO INCREDIBLY OVERRATED. This show is dark, but that is not why I like it so much—just like any other kirara-kei anime, this show is incredibly character & relationship focused, and it would not have worked as well if it had only focused on the horror/thriller aspect of it.

[Yuki begins her speech right after Miki's]

Yuki: "Becoming friends with Mii-kun meant a lot to me. In fact, everyone meant a lot to me. Maybe a few of my friends are no longer here with me, but that's why... That's why I'm glad I was able to graduate with the ones who are! Let's all be together forever. Representative of the graduating class, Takeya Yuki."

[As the ceremony closes, they leave their farewell letter with Megumi's signature teddy bear, as they thank her again for everything she's done for them. ;-;]

And that alone says so much... We RARELY get such a grim reminder of our negative emotions in kirara-kei shows (except for the GOOD ones as I'll dive into soon...). Life fucking SUCKS. Anime fucking SUCKS. EVERYTHING fucking SUCKS. Everything in life always comes with a risk of fucking your life over. Going outside and experiencing life has that obvious risk, but it's less immediately obvious that staying inside and watching anime all day also has that risk. Just take all the hikikomori shut-ins all over the world and think of how miserable they are. And that's the state Yuki was living in. They never said it outright, but in many ways, she was a burden to them and herself, always being an asset that they had to constantly watch over and take care of. But just like anything else in life, there IS a positive side to her. If you know how to lead a happy life and cultivate a healthy mindset, her memories—her escapism—could be used, not only to remember those past memories, but to cherish & protect the memories she continues to make in the present. The way the show used Yuki's delusions to evoke some of the most dissonant & disingenuous feelings at the beginning, and over time, used them to build these genuinely sincere & heartfelt themes, deeply steeped in REAL human emotion is one of the most stunning thematic developments I've seen in all of anime.

Gakkou Gurashi as Kirara-kei

(2) And that's why I said at the beginning that it was so important for you to be familiar with the kirara-kei genre itself before watching this. When you think about these kinds of shows, you just think of the cute, happy-go-lucky moments that this show is posing as, which makes this show's dark nature "subversive" and "deconstructive" in some people's eyes. But what they don't understand is that idealism does not mean negative emotion's don't exist in these kinds of shows.

New Game is one such show that's commonly seen as a hollow, saccharine & idealized show because of its aesthetic, but the main character, Aoba, along with most of its other characters, go through very real emotions and struggles that artists like them go through, especially in a setting like the anime industry where production newbies often work side-by-side with the animation legends that have inspired them in the first place. What makes the show idealized isn't that the characters never have pitfalls in their lives, but rather that they're able to so perfectly overcome those obstacles and earn the feeling of gratification that can't exist without those struggles. A show being idealized does not mean that it can't utilize realistic & negative emotions, and to say that Gakkou Gurashi is "subversive" and inherently better than these kinds of shows just because it happens to be darker, not only ignores the merits of those lighter shows, but also completely discredits Gakkou Gurashi's own narrative strength as a kirara-kei show to so seamlessly juggle these negative and positive emotions into a whole, cohesive experience.